Into Week Four.....

And what a result. My clothes are starting to hang off me. I've not got many that fit properly now and I'm still to shrink into the clothes that I had when I was thin before so I'm starting to look a bit baggy around the seams. I put a top on this morning and it was huge, I used to wear it regularly to work and I don't think I'll be wearing it again. I'm not going to be buying too much too soon, no point really is there.

Things are still going great food wise and I'm now on the mashed soft food stage. This is slightly more exciting than purees and I'm finding it easy to go out for dinner and find something on the menu I can eat. By the new year I'll be back onto proper crunchy food again. Can't wait to be able to eat salad again lol.

Kate x

Nearly 2 Weeks Out....

And I feel fabulous. No pain, bit uncomfortable if I eat too much but that's how it's supposed to be so not complaining. I've progressed from from milk, tea and coffee to thinned down purees now. Chicken tikka massala with the fat removed and then pureed and added to mash, milked down to make it very sloppy. Delicious and today Oh my goodness, what a lunch. Pureed baked beans, grated cheese and half a slice of ham, heated in the microwave and pureed again wit a little water. Definitely having that again and full of protein too. I think the worse thing is trying to drink 1 1/2 litres of water. I've never been a big drinker and I have to drink it so slowly now that I just don't get round to it. I solved the cold drink problem and brought a thermo mug which has helped an awful lot and today through the post arrived my baby bowl that I can fill with boiling water and kept my lunch toasty hot without me having to re-heat it in the microwave half way through.

I've also been doing some excersise. Well if you can call it that, I caught the bus into Wallington and walked home afterwards. Only about a mile but more than I've done in a good while. I've lost 81b since the op, 36 since I signed up for WW in the summer. Not bad eh. More later...

All Done And Dusted.

Well I'm done. Got back home from hospital yesterday afternoon and I feel like I've been kicked in the ribs by a rather large horse. I know this will get better and the sooner the better. I've been drinking lots of fluids, water, milk, tea, might try a milky coffee later. The hardest bit is that it takes about half an hour to drink half a cup of anything and its gone cold before I manage it. Hate cold tea lol. I'm feeling very happy that it's all done. No doubts about it, no turning back even if I did. It's all very positive and I can't wait to get going again.

Cancelled!....

Well what can I say. My op was cancelled. Bit of a balls up altogether really. First there was a bed, then there wasn't. The there was, and after sitting in admissions for 7 hours we were taken up to the ward and exhausted from being up since 5am with no food or drink since the night before I laid on top of the bed until a nurse came along and said they needed the bed for another patient and changed it and wheeled it away. Then another nurse came along and said they were ready for me and I changed and we rushed down to the theatre, waited about 10 mins in a corridor and then the theatre manager and the surgeon came out and asked me to come along to the office. Just knew right then it was cancelled and had a complete melt down. I realise that there was an emergency and of course that had to come first but after waiting all that time and 3 years, and the build up of stress over the previous week was too much to handle.

I have a new date. 25th Nov will totally **** up work because of the job I do and it was messed up last year because I had a heart attack on the 20th Nov and was off until the week before Christmas so goodness knows what head office will say.

I'm totally gutted. Tim has gone out to get takeway now that I have a week before the bloody milk and yogurt again.

One Day To Go.......

Can't believe I've only got one day left. I'm very excited but on the other hand, I'm so worried too. How can you be so excited one moment and scared the next. Even though it's been 3 years coming, I'm in a state. Think that the majority of my worry is that I'm so sad that I wont be able to eat sweet stuff or fried stuff again. I suppose it's just hit me that I wont be able to eat scampi and chips in Wetherspoons on a Thursday night or taco's with sour cream and cheese or fish and chips or chicken kiev or jacket potato with butter and cheese. Even if they are in toddler size portions. I'm not so worried about the sweet stuff because I know I can cook lovely deserts using splenda and I'm not a chocolate person anyway. It's just the fried I'm more sad about, not being able to eat a piece of breaded scampi, 3 chips and the end off the PS's steak when we go out for a meal. I've heard that oven chips are ok but not sure what else is. What about fish fingers and stuff you can put in the oven like that?

I'd hate for you to think we only ate stuff like that, we do eat loads of good whole food, casseroles, roasts and veg etc but something naughty is nice now and then isn't it especially when you're out and it's all you can get.

I havn't gone to church this morning, Tim and the kids have gone but I wanted to stay home and spring clean so it's all done for when I get back. Can't stand the thought of coming home to a messy house especially as I wont be able to do too much the first few days and I know there will be visitors including MY LOVELY BOSS.

After lunch we're going to relax with a good film and a pot of tea and then later we are all going to my in laws for a firework party and BBQ (I'm having ww soup) and then the kids are staying there for a few nights while I'm in. There's a bus stops at the end of their road that stops outside their school so no problem.

Just got to pack my bag tonight, got my pile of stuff ready, PJ's, wash bag, baby wipes, lip salve, hairbrush, bath towel, magazine, SF barley water, DS, games and charger, Mobile and charger. Think that's all I need, Tim can bring in anything else I need. Luckily we're only about 20 mins from the hospital.

Not sure how I'll feel tomorrow, going to cross that bridge when I come to it but I'm pretty calm and 'ready' right now.

1 Week To Go.....

Well I'm into week 2 of the pre-op diet and although I don't have any scales I know I've lost weight because my jeans have been falling down all weekend ha ha. I've just ironed my work trousers and wonder if I should be swapping them for the smaller size I have hanging in the wardrobe. It's a funny thing this weightloss thing isn't it. I've got 2 bags full of summer clothes, linen trousers, tops, crop jeans etc that are ready for the charity shop as I know they're not going to fit me next summer. Isn't that a wonderful thing, to be absolutely sure that I wont grow back into them again.

1 week to go and although at times I feel as if I could burst into tears (might do me good actually) I don't feel too bad nerves wise. I do keep getting palpitations and I'm not quite sure why but I'm sure it has more to do with lack of food than my heart. This is my last week at work then I have 3 weeks off to recover. Quite looking forward to the 3 weeks off. Looking forward to buying new clothes even more lol.

9 Days To Go.....

I've changed to the yogurts and milk diet. I don't know, I just don't trust the soup and yogurt one. I'm so worried I'll wake up not done because my livers still too large. I know it's stupid, but I can't see how it's working cause it's too easy, tasty and I'm not feeling too hungry.

Todays been ok, I still have about 3/4 of a pint of milk to drink this evening and a yogurt which I will have with some sugar free jelly later for supper followed by a milky coffee. It's less calories than the soup/yog or all milk diet which is strange. Anyway, I sort of feel better for doing it. Don't know if I've lost any weight as I don't posess a scales ha ha. Will find out when they weigh me on the 7th I guess.

We went out for dinner to Wetherspoons in Wallington last night and Tim had fish and chips, peas and bread and butter and I gave them a tin of soup and asked them if they'd mind heating it up for me and you know what, they did. 5 stars go to Wetherspoons. I ate my yogurt for pudding too. Ha ha. Ikea was a doddle as they have microwaves around the seating area for heating up baby food so I had my late afternoon soup along side my free cuppa.

Well a bit of a roller coaster ride for the last month. Only yesterday on the first day of my pre-op diet did I get the phone call saying that the cardiac consultant had okayed me for the op. And only then because I rang and badgered them.

Anyway, I'm on the second day of the pre-op diet and although I have it pretty good, 4 weight watchers tins of soup and 4 muller lite yogurts a day I'm already pretty sick of soup. Don't mind the yogurts. Some people only get to drink 5 pints of milk a day so I shouldn't complain. I've had yogurt for breakfast, soup mid morning, soup and yogurt for lunch, soup at 4pm will have soup and yog for dinner then yogurt and sugar free jelly for supper. Oh yes I can have a pint of sugar free jelly each day too and a bovril drink. Don't think I'll be bothering with the bovril.

So here I go. I'm still worried but speaking to all the other people who have already been through the op I know that I wont regret it. People only ever regret not doing it earlier.

On a work note, It was our harvest festival a couple of weeks ago so we made a harvest wheat sheaf for the church service. It looked fab when it was glazed and cooked.

Kate x

Oh For Goodness Sake Now What.........

Well what a farce. I had an appointment with the surgeon on Thursday, up at St. Georges. He asked me how I was after the heart attack, then realised that we didn't have a cardiac report ok'ing me for the op. Talk about disappointed. How will I get an appointment at the hospital with a cardiac Dr in the next couple of weeks to get a check up to make sure I'm fit for surgery. It takes nearly 3 weeks to get an appointment with my own GP for a sore throat let along to see a specialist. If I don't get it sorted out the op date will be cancelled and a new date will have to be made for after I've been seen.

I have to say that the surgeon was great about it saying he would phone the cardiac Dr who saw me and hopefully he will be able to arrange for me to be seen quickly. I did have an ECG a few weeks ago as I told you in my last post, but I don't suppose that will count for anything. I've also rang to speak to my GP who originally referred me for the surgery. Didn't get to talk to her of course but I did leave a message with the receptionist asking her if she could possible get me an urgent appointment seeing as my op date was Nov 7th.

What a hash up eh. I wouldn't mind but I've had to wait since last Nov to get to this point again and I could have done all this already had I known I needed too. Ah well nothing more I can do, and its no good getting myself over stressed and in a paddy over it so I will have to wait and see what happens. Will let you know as soon as I hear anything. I've got my Pre Op appointment on the 6th Oct. not sure if its even worth going to it now. xxx

Panic stations....

Bit of a panic the last couple of days. Funny thing is though I wasn't worrying about my heart, rather the fact that I might not get my op if my heart was playing up again. With chest pains for a couple of days I tried running up and down the stairs like something demented waving my arms around my head assuming that if the pain was angina it would start up after all this activity but nothing. Lying it bed I could feel it again. Come the morning and I made the decision to take myself off to the hospital for an ECG to let me know one way or another. Half of me didn't want to but the other half told me that if I didn't go I could end up ill on the operating table in a couple of months time and be in danger. Thank goodness all the tests were fine. They took blood, (I was terribly brave) to compare the enzymes from the last time I had one done after my heart attack and did an ECG and all was normal so relieved I left hospital happy and with my mind at rest. The Dr. thinks it could be muscular or skelatal and told me to keep an eye on it, if it doesn't go I'm to get an appointment with the cardiac specialist to make sure the stent hasn't slipped.

All a bit dramatic isn't it.

It's getting closer and I'm planning my last supper. Think it will have to be at Jimmy Spices in Epsom. What is this mentality of having to eat as much as you can till you feel sick. Do thin people do this too or is it just us fatties. I'm assuming I wont do it after I'm done. Will I try and stuff just one more pea in or will the half a dozen or so just be too many already.

Why Am I Going On This Journey?

Why? Because all of my life for as long as I can remember I've been fat. Looking back at photo's of myself when I was a kid, I wasn't fat I was no different to any other kid except for the skinny ones but who wants to be skinny anyway ha.

So am I scared? Yes I'm absolutely terrified, but I'm also so excited you wouldn't believe it. Being 5' 3" almost 18st and an apple shape its very hard to get clothes that fit and look good. I have small arms, hips and thighs so if it fits round my rather large waist its huge on my hips and legs and like wise arms on things are big and baggy and I can never get a jacket or blouse with a good fit. It makes me look permanently scruffy.

As well as the obvious health benefits, reducing my blood pressure, removing my diabetes, reducing the risk of a stroke and another heart attack I'll have more energy when I'm not carrying another person around. On the cosmetic side of things I can't wait to go shopping, in High St. shops. I can't wait to buy something because I like it, not just because it fits me.

I will be boring everyone rigid with this for the next year I expect and I see no reason why you should all be spared so I've decided to use this space to blog about my weight loss journey. Hope you'll travel with me. I'm going to need good friends along the way. xxx

Thinner Times To Come.

Well what can I say. So much has happened since I posted last. Yes a slap on the wrist for not posting for so long. The Open Studio was ok, could have done with more people coming but to be honest can only blame myself for lack of advertising and holding it on Wimbledon Womens finals day. Well I don't follow tennis, how was I to know, did you know?

So whats been going on then, well anyone who knows me fairly well will already know that for nearly 3 years I've been waiting to have a gastric bypass. Via the NHS it's a long process of appointments and waiting then more appointments and waiting and if you're really unlucky a heart attack and the whole thing gets put off for a year. Well that of course was me. Never do anything by halves. I had just had my letter confirming that I had been put on the waiting list for a bed and had seen the surgeon and was expecting to have the op in March/April this year when bang, there I am in hospital being told I'd had a heart attack. The surgery had to wait a year due to the meds I'm taking so having been told I'd have to wait until the following Nov. to go back on the waiting list you could have knocked me down with a feather when the phone rang at 9am the other morning and a nice lady gave me an appointment for Nov. 7th this year. To say I'm excited would be an understatement, To say I'm near on petrified would be pretty true.

Anyway I will keep you updated, long time till November. ha ha.

I've been making buttons. A beady friend who came for the open studio day showed me how and now I can't stop. They're getting better as I go. They're the type with a shank so if you're needing any buttons I'm your man. I must take a photo to show you.

More soon xxx

Fool That I Am...

Fool that I am I've sprained my ankle. Slipped at work, and my ankle went and there I was flat on my face in a narrow corridor between the kitchen and the dining room. It hurts big time and I can't put my foot flat on the floor without excruciating pain shooting for it. I'm off to Physio this morning and I'm off work for a week to rest it and rest it and I will, probably in the shed at the torch. I'd only just got the same ankle better from the last time I did it when I missed the step and fell out of the caravan last year.

A shame really because I'd promised the kids I'd drop them at Chessington World of Adventures today as they have an inset day today. I'm also going to miss the 100th and 104th birthday party of two of our residents at work which is a pity. Prehaps I'll try and get along for a hour on the day.

So here I am stuck on the sofa with my feet up, laptop on my lap, no excuse for not keeping my blog up to date now is there...

Holidays and High Days...

I've not blogged for a while because we've been on holiday, New Forest, perfect weather, beautiful country side, walks and bicycle rides and a bloody cockeral who woke us up every morning at 3.30am and a randy bull who lulled us to sleep each night with his raucous mooing. Wonderful part of the country side and one we find ourselves returning to year after year...

So now we're back and the weathers rainy and cold and I'm back to work, the PS goes back tomorrow and I've decided it's time to go back to weight watchers. Anyone who knows me knows that I had a small heart attack back in November 2010 and I havn't really done anything about diet since then, despite rehab courses at hospital etc. so I decided it was time.

Well I've just got back, or I should say we've just got back. The PS came with me and joined too which is brilliant because he's never understood how I can eat x y and z even though I try and explain to him about points and things so now he will understand hopefully.

Anyway, there were only the three of us, sorry his Mum joined tonight too, and 3 other newbies who stayed to the meeting and although at first I wondered why because I've always stayed to meetings and found them useful, half way through the meeting we understood very well why no one stayed and we've promised ourselves that if we lose we can go home but if we put on we will be forced to pay penance by staying to class.

Anyway, we're all fired up, we brought the box full of gadgets like tape measure, points counter, shopping and eating out guide and stopped off at Sainsburys on the way home for extra foody supplies so there's no stopping up now.

Watch this space.

Kate x

Guide Camp and The Spice of Life.

I've just delivered Abbie to Guide camp, an hours drive away and into a field that looked like the sort of organised chaos you get when a few hundred girl guides are pitching tents. It looked a hoot and after kissing her goodbye and driving away I wished I was staying to join in the fun too. 3 days of abseiling, water fun, skill building and plenty of gingangoolies around the camp fire.

What a difference this year to last when she waved me off sobbing as the coach pulled away to take her on a weeks adventures to Canvey Island for her school journey.

The PS has a gig tonight so Joe and I are having a treat at Jimmy Spices, our favourite restraunt that neither of the others enjoy and it's lovely to have some Joe and Me time on our own.

http://jimmyspices.co.uk/concept.php

Awol Under The Floorboards....

It's been an eventful weekend . Another trip to the garden centre. Must stop these trips they set out as a trip to buy a hoe and end up being a boot full of plants and a large bill . Couldn't help slipping a few herbs into the trolley and a bag of compost and a couple more strawberry plants and mealworms for the chucks .

The kids decided in the week that they'd like to have a couple of friends over for a bbq on Saturday night . Fine the PS will be out doing a gig so why not have a bit of teenage company . Thankfully they're all still at that silly teenage stage not the 'whatever' stage . After the food bit I sat in the shedio making beads , they were very well behaved .

Sunday morning at 6.30am saw me lying on my stomach in the bathroom , 2 floorboards up , silently watching a baited tupperware box lying on its side waiting for Awol the hamster to creep in for a snack . She didn't of course and by 7am I'd had enough and gone back to bed though not before seeing the itinerant rodent peeping at me and sniggering .

By the time I'd got back from dropping Joe at his friends to pick up his bike Abbie was holding the tupperware box aloft with said rodent inside . So she's home , cage securely sorted out with a pair of heavy duty pliers and a roll of sellotape . Lets hope she stops living up to her name .

The Livestock.

So livestock. Yes we have live stock. We have Ben, our gorgeously stupid labrador x retriever x bloodhound x convicted thief and dirt bucket. He's had his moments like today when I arrived home from work and realised I'd shut him in the dining room and in his panic he's clawed a hole as big as good sized frizbee in the dining room carpet as he tried to dig his way out under the door. My fault of course for shutting him in but he was laying in the sun very quietly and I didn't realise he was there.



We have cats too. Just the two now. Our cats never seem to like living in the same house as each other and we never seem to have more than one at home at any one time. All we have now are Arthur and Marthur. Both white with dark tabby patches on their backs like saddles for elves and both as daft as each other, brother and sister. Both of them are accomplished cat burglers thinking nothing of pouncing on whatever is lying on the chopping board and running off down the garden with it. I've stood at the kitchen sink, mouth open as I've watched one of them jump over the fence with a chicken breast in its mouth wondering which neighbour has lost their dinner.



Chickens. We've had them on and off for a few years now. Unfortunately we lose a lot of them to foxes who blatently walk into the garden and pick off what they fancy in broad day light. I've hatched the last lot myself, a batch of Cream Legbars of which 8 hatched, 5 girls and 3 boys. The boys went off to live on a farm in darkest Dorset, 2 of the girls went to live with a friend up the road and the other 3 are pottering around in the hen house as we speak. I'm not letting them out, not my babies that I raised from an egg. I have one dear little chick all on its own in the broody, the only egg to hatch, it's a black Australian Buff Orpington or an Australorp I'm told. In the incubator at the moment are 3 Buff Orpingtons which are due to hatch next week. It's an amazing thing watching new life hatch out of an egg.



We also have a hamster somewhere or other in the house. I noticed it missing in action this morning. Don't think the cats have had her because I've not found her anywhere which is a good sign. Well a good sign unless she's hiding in my ironing pile nibbling through my knicker elastic.

The Hideyhole....

I've been gardening, well not so much gardening unless you include planting a few busy lizzies and petunias in pots. More sort of re-arranging things really. I've made a hideyhole. Opposite my shedio is a very large fir tree, probably a lilandi which grows behind the trellis and pergola. Well the branches came right down to the ground so I cut them off all the way up to above my head creating a ceiling of fir tree with a great space below with a sort of forest floor below. Anyway this space beneath the tree has made a wonderful space to sit, sheltered from the wind and it catches the late afternoon sun which is lovely for an after work glass of wine and an al fresco supper.

I've been sewing cushions for the bench, lots of old Sanderson flowery print cushions, big poppies and roses, perfect for the garden. I've since taken delivery of a small swing seat which has added a touch of luxury to the place and is wonderful for sitting on with a good book and a pot of tea. Of course the weather hasn't been anything like it was before I ordered the seat but that's just about right for England I suppose.

The trunk of the tree is quite something with lots of trunks coming from the stump and there are plenty of nooks and crannies to perch jam jars with candles and a place to put a shelf to hold a cup or glass. Hanging from the remains of cut off branches more jam jars and lanterns hang creating a fairy like space in the evening in which to while away the time listening to the radio whilst supping a good glass of red. The hideyhole looks out onto the pond which of course brings with it gnats and midges so plenty of citronella is needed. Its a lovely place to be though and the odd bite is a small price to pay for peace and beauty.

Did I mention I made glass beads, well I do, but not much since I was ill last year. (All fine now) Well anyway, I used to do loads until I stayed out of the shedio for a few months whilst repairing the body and in that time I lost my mojo. It's starting to return, got loads of ideas but with working 5 days a week albeit part time, and being quite tired in the evenings it's sometimes hard to get in the shedio. So what to do to cure the fuzz and get back on track.

An Open Studio Day. I've booked the date, I've sent the invites to the printers and announced the date in the church news. Can't back out now. Thing is, now, not only do I need to make beads and more jewellery, tidy the shedio and boy does it need it but I will have to sort the garden, tidy the house, collect glass jars to hang candles in the garden and make untold scones. No it'll be wonderful, honestly, as long as people turn up.

I'll keep you up to date if I rememeber.

One Thing And Another.....

The cars in for its MOT. It's a bit like that book The V.E.T the kids had when they were small. Give one small hint to the CAR that its going in and the damn thing breaks down on the way to the test station. Plumes of smoke escaping from the bonnet and a cronic rasping noise turn out to be the starter motor burning itself out. Fab, £ signs roll in front of my eyes as 3 mechanics stand over the bonnet grooming their chins with greasy fingers.



You'll be glad to know that it passed after a little welding, new wipers and a break light. The nice men at the garage put an old starter motor from a clapped out old Micra they had into mine and its worked fine since. Dear old Flower sees another year!